I (heart) (maple leaf) (Cow leg)

So after feeling out of the loop for so long, Jeff was kind enough to interview me. Without any further ado, here it is.

1. Bigger Jerk, Anonymous commenter on your post "Zork the Car Thief", or Bob the new hire? Follow up question: since you've never seen them together, have you considered the possibility that they are one and the same person?

“Atheist I can handle- Alien I cannot- so as long as you’re not green and chasing me you’re welcome to comment anytime.”

I would have to say that Bob the new hire is the bigger jerk. The way I see it is, I can handle some anonymous troller who means basically nothing to me in the grand scheme of things telling me I’m a lousy poet, and a dumb @ss because I may very well be- I really don’t know… Bob however wins the prize for king jerk for the simple reason that I can exercise a lot more patience and control when I am writing then I can do in person. Bob really took it upon himself to test that patience for the 3 miserable days that he lasted here. Lucky for me he quit before he finished training, or I’m sure that stapler would have left bruise on his forehead by now.

I would honestly doubt however that bob is the one that left the comment, simply because I doubt that Bob could have formed a complete sentence, let alone operate a complex piece of technology such as a computer….but then again, maybe I’m just bitter toward him…

2. Since you obviously live near Darlene, I'm assuming you're also Canadian. Do you like the Canadian healthcare system? In your experiences, has it been fair (accessible)? Effective (gotten good results)? Efficient (timely)?

Canadian healthcare eh? Yes- the system is great (In theory), and I do believe that it is fair, (in theory), but In my personal experience, I have not seen it to be effective (in Theor- oh no wait, this parts true). Ok- the biggest problem with Canadian healthcare is that Canada can only pay its doctors what our taxes will allow, so we find that many of student doctors getting their degrees and moving to the states because $ca-ching$ They can make a bundle more. (at least I’ve heard this is the case). So we get the leftovers, and though I’m sure there are some good doctors out there- I haven’t encountered them. Personally, I’ve only encountered the type that couldn’t tell the bruise on Bob the new hire’s head if they were there when I threw the stapler. Of course with that said- if I ever had a heart attack or something seriously wrong with me, I will thank my lucky stars that I live here in Canada, our true north strong and FREE!

3. Better Canadian export to the US: cheap pharmaceuticals, or mad cow disease? Follow up question: better import from the US: draft-dodgers or Fox News Channel?

It might interest you to know that during the mad cow scare a bumper sticker company made a fortune with I love Canadian beef bumper stickers/t-shirts/fridge magnets etc… (Actually they were more like I (heart) (Maple leaf) (cow head). At the same time the radio stations spewed out strange but interesting tidbits of information such as,

*official reporter voice* “The threat of Mad Cow is only present if you eat the brain of the cow or part of the nervous system, so as long as you avoid such foods as ground beef and hotdogs, the risk is very minimal.”

EEEEWWWW! Remind me not to eat any hot dogs….. (maybe I should change the bumper sticker to I (heart) (maple leaf) (Cow leg) or something a little safer then the head!)

I think the better export would have to be the cheap pharmaceuticals, because maybe if we give you guys down there enough cheap prescriptions and get you doped up enough, you would buy more of our mad co- er, um, I mean Canadian beef…

The better import without a doubt is Fox. I mean for the longest time it was my only way of watching the Simpson’s, and they still plays it more then any Canadian station does! I just have to make sure not to leave the TV in the bedroom on if I watch it at night, otherwise when I get up at 2 am to go pee, some lady in a swimsuit will either be telling me to “pick up the phone"… Or I will get sucked into buying the Ronco food dehydrator, or the Chef Tony knife set. Oooohhh I love infomercials:)

4. What is under your kitchen sink right now? And is any of it alive?

Garbage bags, generic cleaner, a dish rack, a basin, some bleach. Well that’s what I can see from a far anyways, and I’m a little worried of what could be living near the back- so I try to leave it alone.

I really liked the “what’s on your desk" question that some others got, so I figured I would answer that one too.
A monitor
a keyboard
a phone
a message pad
a mouse
a clock
a “Barrel of Monkeys monkey”
a Spongebob Squarepants water bottle
another water bottle
a bottle of iced tea
a Tim’s green tea
an in/out tray
two packages of sweet and low
some post it notes
two file organizers
2 note spindlesmy ID badges complete with spongebob lanyard
a Patrick Pez dispenser
my pens
my Spongebob pencil
my trusty stapler
and of course, my 'to do' pile.

5. More important behavior in a man: opening/holding the door for you, or putting the toilet seat back down?

I honestly didn’t know they were capable of either. When I try and tell my husband to put the toilet seat down, he replies by saying,

“I need the seat up when I pee, do you put the seat up when you’re finished?”

So I gave up on that battle.

I guess now that the interview is complete, I’m supposed to interview 5 people, so if you would like to be interviewed by me leave a comment and let me know and I will get the questions out to you.